**Recognising and Tackling Emotional Abuse in Relationships: Expert Insights Ahead of World Mental Health Day**
If terms like gaslighting, trivialising, love bombing, and stonewalling evoke thoughts of an abusive partner, then new-age strategies such as silent treatment, grey rocking, setting boundaries, and taking space are tools to identify and respond to emotional abuse. These methods help hold off toxic, manipulative companions or create distance in alarming relationships. Remember: do not let harmful partners make you feel bad.
Ahead of World Mental Health Day (October 10), experts share advice on recognising and handling narcissists, control freaks, and overbearing individuals in serious relationships.
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### Psychological Abuse: Are You a Victim?
Are you being humiliated, threatened, punished, or harassed schemingly by your spouse, partner, or best friend? If you answered “yes” to any of these, it’s time to take charge and stand up for yourself.
Mental abuse by a partner includes name-calling, derogatory remarks about your physical, mental, or other abilities, and blaming you for their mistakes. Clinical Psychologist Savitri Nair explains, “This eventually lowers your self-esteem, disrupts your emotional balance, and creates feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and frustration.”
Often, being deeply involved in a relationship makes it difficult to acknowledge abuse. Recognising the different forms of mental abuse is the first step to rebuilding your self-esteem.
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### Forms of Mental Abuse
**Gaslighting:**
Gaslighting involves coercive power, psychological manipulation, and exploitative communication by a narcissistic partner aiming to make you doubt your rationality and perception. Victims may feel isolated from family and friends as lies are spread, denying external validation or support. The abuser’s goal is to erode your self-confidence and create confusion. This can persist for months or even years until the victim recognises the abuse and seeks help.
**Trivialising:**
Do you often feel unimportant? Trivialising means belittling or dismissing your feelings and thoughts. It is usually a trait of an insecure person lacking empathy. Invalidating your experiences through sarcasm or “put-downs” causes self-doubt and depression. Health Coach and Mental Wellness expert Kshitij Acharya advises, “Point out the trivialisation, set boundaries, and if your partner is unwilling to change, consider leaving the relationship.”
**Stonewalling:**
Stonewalling is when an abusive partner emotionally distances themselves, ignores you, or resorts to silent treatment, sometimes lasting days or weeks. This tactic is to hurt, upset, or control you. Being stonewalled can leave you feeling frustrated, disrespected, resentful, helpless, and abandoned.
**Love Bombing:**
At first, love bombing might seem flattering—too much care, excessive “I love yous,” and wanting to be inseparable right from the start. However, Clinical Psychologist Savitri Nair warns, “Unwarranted compliments and uncalled-for gifts should raise alarm bells. It’s a red flag.” Once the abuser gains full control, they may lose interest and devalue you, forcing you to comply with their wishes. Better safe than sorry.
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### Victim’s Reprieve: Strategies to Regain Control
Victims can use several strategies to protect their dignity, reclaim self-worth, and keep manipulators at bay.
**The Silent Treatment:**
While often used by abusers as punishment, the silent treatment can also be a defence mechanism for victims. Different from stonewalling, victims may use silence to safeguard themselves. Bangalore-based Anand Bidappa shares, “I revoked my affection and resorted to total verbal non-responsiveness to stall the situation. This was my form of silent protest when my girlfriend nurtured bizarre expectations and took me for granted.”
**Setting Boundaries:**
Savitri Nair encourages victims to use “I” statements instead of accusatory language such as “you never” or “you always.” Whether boundaries relate to sexual, emotional, financial, communication, privacy, or time issues, be assertive and establish healthy limits. No one—not even your partner—should cross these lines. This practice significantly enhances overall well-being.
**Grey Rocking:**
Named for being impassive and uninteresting like a “grey rock,” grey rocking involves disengaging emotionally and physically from toxic or manipulative partners for one’s well-being. Delhi-based Renuka Sajnani, a mild abuse survivor, explains, “I maintained silence with minimal participation—just a ‘hmm,’ ‘okay,’ ‘yes,’ or ‘no.’ Though temporary, this calm, cold response reduces conflict.” The key is to limit contact, avoid revealing personal details, and withdraw attention. This method works best when dealing with difficult but not aggressive or unsafe individuals.
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### What To Do If You Suspect Abuse
– **Document Events:** Write down incidents to help remember facts clearly and monitor the abuser’s tactics.
– **Disengage Strategically:** Leave discussions that feel like power struggles.
– **Focus on Self-Care:** Prioritize your physical, mental, and emotional health.
– **Trust Your Instincts:** Pay attention to your feelings and thoughts.
– **Rebuild Confidence:** Work on reshuffling your self-esteem.
– **Seek Professional Help:** Consult mental health experts to overcome trauma and abusive experiences.
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Remember, recognising abuse is the first crucial step towards healing. You deserve respect, love, and dignity in your relationships.
*For support and more information, reach out to qualified therapists or helplines specializing in emotional abuse.*
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*Published ahead of World Mental Health Day, October 10*
https://www.freepressjournal.in/weekend/world-mental-health-day-2025-say-no-to-toxic-relationships-and-reclaim-your-mental-well-being