**Bachelor in Not-So-Paradise: Gerry Turner’s Tell-All on ‘The Golden Bachelor’ and His Short-Lived Marriage**
Gerry Turner, ABC’s first lead on *The Golden Bachelor*, has released a revealing memoir titled *Golden Years: What I’ve Learned From Love, Loss, and Reality TV*. The explosive book details his experience on the show and provides insight into why he divorced Theresa Nist just three months after their wedding.
Turner, 74, a widower, father, and grandfather based in Indiana, starred in Season 1 of the franchise, which highlights romance in people’s “golden” years. “The motivation [for the book] came from the frustration of not being able to tell the whole story about myself and my feelings while I was on the show,” Turner shared with The Post. “There was so much left unsaid and unrevealed. I wanted that information out there.”
The Post has reached out to Nist for comment. Here are some of the biggest bombshells from Turner’s memoir:
### Late Wife’s Hidden Health Diagnosis
Before appearing on *The Golden Bachelor*, Turner was married to his high school sweetheart, Toni, for 43 years until her death from a bacterial infection in 2017 at age 64. After her death, Turner discovered evidence in their home that she had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes but had never told him.
He wrote, “She’d never mentioned this big diagnosis to me. And, as far as I could tell, she’d never followed through with treatment.” Turner described feeling “traumatized” by uncovering this secret and it shaped what he looked for in subsequent relationships—valuing health, fitness, and regular medical care.
### Confirmed Relationship with Ex Met at Wife’s Funeral
Turner’s biggest scandal during the show stemmed from a *Hollywood Reporter* story in November 2023. Turner claimed he had not pursued serious relationships since his wife’s death. However, a woman named Carolyn told the outlet she had dated Turner for 10 months, lived with him on Big Long Lake in Hudson, Indiana, and alleged he ended the relationship due to her weight gain.
Turner disputed many details but confirmed he met Carolyn “on the receiving line at Toni’s funeral.” He admitted, “We had a connection but I pursued the relationship far too quickly,” asking her to move in before really getting to know one another. He described the breakup as “very emotional” and acknowledged he “could have been more generous,” but was still grieving.
### Claims Theresa Nist Was ‘Calculated’ and ‘Rehearsed’
During their time on the show, Turner initially saw Nist, 72, as “innocently trying to be a good companion,” but felt manipulated by others to overshare. “I was the easiest to manipulate,” he admitted.
Watching the aired episodes, Turner’s opinion shifted. He felt Nist was “unable to read the room” and that her answers seemed rehearsed and “calculated,” which blocked him from connecting with the real her.
### Off-Camera Interactions Were Difficult
Because Turner and Nist could not be seen together publicly after their engagement, their relationship was mostly maintained through phone calls, which Turner described as “awkward.” “Her tone and delivery were the same whether she was talking about a work problem or picking up a smoothie,” he said. Their conversations felt mechanical, lacking warmth or spontaneity.
When they finally spent a weekend together in a Central Park penthouse, Turner felt uncomfortable with Nist’s grocery choices—salmon, salad greens, and eggs—with no carbohydrates. “It had never occurred to me there wouldn’t be what I call food,” he quipped.
### Nist Allegedly Misrepresented Herself
Turner recalled their phone calls growing “more strained” over time. Initially, they agreed to compromise by moving to Charleston, South Carolina, but Nist later said she couldn’t quit her job yet due to needing retirement funds.
“I was a little resentful because her economic situation wasn’t at all what she had described on the show,” Turner said. He was also “taken aback” when she told him that if he paid all her expenses, she would quit immediately. Turner felt “disillusioned” by what he saw as her “lack of team spirit” and expectation that he would bear the financial burden.
### Feeling Shut Out of Wedding Plans
Turner said Nist “took over” their wedding plans and ignored his requests, including his ask for her to model wedding lingerie. He felt that she was more invested in the trappings of the wedding than in their life together.
“Their priorities were painfully different,” he wrote. While he wanted simply to be with her, Nist was “so engrossed in planning her dream wedding” that he felt he “all but disappeared.” Turner also noted Nist’s focus on gaining her daughter’s approval over his, recalling how he was shut down on music suggestions and felt like “a guest at my own wedding.”
### Conflicting Expectations About Lifestyle and Home
In the lead-up to their wedding, Turner said problems escalated, especially regarding their future home. While he looked at houses in the $1 million range, Nist was seeking homes priced between $4 to $5 million.
“Her assumptions about the kind of house we were looking for were hugely different from mine,” he explained. Turner wondered if Nist expected the affluent lifestyle featured during filming, financed by the production company.
Despite growing doubts, Turner kept quiet to avoid dampening the “Golden Bachelor” hype and sought advice from friends, who described Nist’s “east coast mentality” as expecting luxury dining, expensive clothes, high-profile socializing, and lavish homes—a mindset Turner saw as incompatible with his own.
### Prenup Drama Led to Cold Feet
Turner insisted on a prenuptial agreement; Nist was reluctant and delayed signing it. She even incorrectly signed the document, rendering it unusable. This struggle caused Turner immense stress, culminating in “the worst case of cold feet” on the wedding day.
He confided in fellow contestant Faith Martin that he felt “completely trapped” and believed going through with the wedding was “the wrong thing to do.”
### Nist Asked Him to Sleep on the Couch After Wedding
Though Turner acknowledged critics might call him a “phony” for marrying Nist, he said he was committed with all his heart.
However, their honeymoon started awkwardly when Nist asked him to sleep on the couch, citing an early workday and need for rest. Turner recalled thinking, “Why? We’re married!” but didn’t argue, trying to keep the peace.
That “one night on the couch” turned into several, with Nist’s behavior toward intimacy shifting dramatically—from forward and comfortable on the show, to distant post-wedding. Turner said this rejection “rattled me deeply and stayed with me for a long time.”
### Constant Conflict and Criticism
Sleeping apart made Turner “a little bitter,” but tensions went beyond that. He described a situation where Nist reacted dramatically when he drove five miles over the speed limit, as if “I had a gun to her head.”
On another occasion, Nist criticized his outfit choice before going out, pointing at him “like a kindergarten teacher.” Turner joked, “I wondered why I had driven fourteen hours to sleep alone and have my wardrobe criticized.”
Overall, he felt a “near-constant low hum of conflict” over differences in schedules, eating habits, and time together.
### A ‘Horribly Awkward’ Goodbye and Realization
Their breakup included a “horribly awkward goodbye at the airport,” marked by a cold kiss and hug “with all the warmth of a meeting between distant cousins.”
Turner felt “relieved” the in-person visit was over and struggled with the memory of his wedding vows. Eventually, they agreed they had “acted in haste” and made a mistake rushing into marriage.
### Turner Reveals ‘Suicidal Thoughts’ After Breakup
The public backlash left Turner in “a very dark place,” feeling like a “failure.” He criticized Nist for spinning a narrative casting herself as the victim while he sank deeper into depression.
When friends invited him to social outings, Turner found himself dreading the inevitable gossip. “I was sick of talking about myself. I wanted to be invisible.”
One night, overwhelmed, he admitted to briefly contemplating suicide but quickly thought of his daughters Jenny and Angie. “My suicidal thoughts were more an expression of my desire to disappear,” he explained. “The pain seemed like it was never going away.”
### Nist Allegedly Studied ‘How to Win the Bachelor’ During Filming
Turner found solace and understanding in friendships formed with other contestants like Faith Martin, Nancy Hulkower, Susan Noles, and Kathy Swarts, who also felt betrayed by Nist.
In December 2024, Turner disclosed he was diagnosed with a slow-growing bone marrow cancer called Waldenström’s macroglobulinemia and notified Nist, who never reached out. “To be that insignificant to someone I had married, albeit briefly, was very painful,” he shared.
He questioned why Nist participated on the show if she was going to be so inflexible afterward. Fellow contestants allegedly saw her reading *How to Win the Bachelor* during production. Turner was disturbed by the image of Nist “planning her strategy to win a rose,” concluding her goal was not to find love but to win the competition.
Other women felt cheated of a genuine chance at love, and Turner admitted feeling “gullible,” unable to believe he had made such a “stupid mistake.”
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Gerry Turner’s memoir lifts the curtain on the challenging realities behind the romantic façade of *The Golden Bachelor* and reveals the complexities that led to his brief and turbulent marriage with Theresa Nist.
https://nypost.com/2025/11/04/entertainment/golden-bachelor-gerry-turner-goes-scorched-earth-on-calculated-ex-theresa-nist-in-new-memoir-most-explosive-bombshells/